A Tale of Mercury In Retrograde

Ah, Mercury in retrograde, we meet again. For those who perhaps don’t follow space updates, when Mercury is in retrograde, things get slightly discombobulated. It is defined in the Farmer’s Almanac as follows: Due to the way our planet’s orbit interacts with the orbits of the other planets, they might sometimes appear to be traveling backward through the night sky with respect to the zodiac. This is, in fact, an illusion, which we call apparent retrograde motion. During this time, things like travel and communication may be delayed or confusing. It is suggested not to sign any contracts and double proofread any emails you send. It is also a time of high intuition and looking at the past (hence traveling backwards). It can be a freeing time but mostly it is full of frustration, unexplained anger, and bubbling anxiety.

Here’s my tale of Mercury in retrograde and a terrible Monday.

I hate being late. It brings my anxiety to a boiling point and sets off my entire mood for the rest of the day. Luckily, I am not late often. In fact, I am usually 30 minutes early and I’ve been in many a Duane Reade just ‘browsing’ because of it. When I have an appointment or lately, an interview, I leave much earlier than I need to. Living across the river in New Jersey and taking a bus, while normally pretty reliable, I allow for any mishaps with an extra 30-45 minutes.

I have never been late to an interview until this past Monday morning.

I always bring an extra resume with me to interviews but I don’t recall the last time I have needed one. The only times I remember handing one over would be for a restaurant or retail job where you apply in person. Otherwise, I have a folder of my older resumes gathering dust because my potential employer always has one printed.

I had to give one this past Monday.

I’m an excellent interviewee. I’m personable, I have smart answers. Even if I don’t get the job, it’s usually a pleasant experience. I feel welcomed and that my interviewer is interested in me. I’ve had times where I’ve walked in and thought “Huh, this isn’t for me” but still nailed the interview. I am not bragging, though it sounds like it. I really am just a good interviewee.

I had the worst interview of my life on Monday morning.

Here’s the story:

I had a recruiter contact me a few weeks ago right after the layoffs at my job. She’s great, super nice and personable. I usually don’t work with recruiters but I thought it couldn’t hurt. She had an interview right off the bat for a small jewelry company. The job didn’t sound exactly what I wanted but I was qualified for it and I usually take the shot and assess after I’m offered a job. Or at least after I interview. About a week later, she calls me and says they are interested. I make an appointment for Monday at 11AM in the city down by my old office. This is my old commute so I know the time needed.

I go to print my resume Sunday night. Our printer, the bane of my existence, is printing in only blue ink. We print several test pages and it says there is black ink but nope, only printing in blue. “I never need one,” I said to my husband. “This will be fine. Worse comes to worst, I’ll just explain I didn’t have time to print it elsewhere.” Which was true. It was late on a Sunday and I hadn’t anticipated needing to go and pay to print a resume for a job I felt medium about anyway.

I get up early. I exercise, I write. I shower and eat a small breakfast. I head to the bus earlier than I need to but I scoped the times out and this one would give me enough wiggle room in case I was delayed at all. The bus doesn’t come. The app I have for the bus times keeps adding minutes. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes late. Now I am at a window where there is no possible way I could not get there exactly on time. Finally, the bus comes and I get on. “There won’t be any traffic. There never is this time of day,” I say to myself.

There was traffic. We crawl through the Lincoln Tunnel. I have to be there in fifteen minutes and I am still technically in New Jersey and still need to take the subway two stops. I call my recruiter to let her know I am going to be late and to let the company know. I am full panic attack, sweating, screaming at my husband via text because I need to vent to someone. I am furious with myself and now in a terrible headspace for an interview.

I get off the bus and run to the subway. It comes quickly but crawls the two stops because of course it does. I get to the office finally, a literal hot mess, out of breath, and attempt not to burst in to announce my arrival. I am exactly ten minutes late.

The office is stunning but oddly shaped. They have a bell instead of a receptionist which I fail to see until an employee walks by and points to it. The woman interviewing me comes out and takes me into the room.

This is where my worst interview happens.

She asks for a copy of my resume. Not only am I late, sweating, my face is probably red but now I have to give this woman a blue resume. I try to laugh it off, tell her it was a freak accident. She doesn’t care and makes no reaction other than saying it is fine. The interview proceeds to get worse from there. Her eyes keep flitted to my shirt, my bag, my coat. My answers are stumbling, which never happens, and I don’t think she’s listening to me. It seems she is not interested and that vibe throws me off. The interview is ten minutes and once done, without a handshake, I leave.

I stand by the elevators and start to laugh.

It was the most ridiculous morning I’ve had in a very long time. Everything that could go wrong did go wrong. When she finally described the job after I asked a few questions, I knew it wasn’t for me. I am not who they are looking for and that’s okay. However, it was jumping through a bunch of loops of embarrassment that brought me to that conclusion.

While I obviously am not blaming Mercury being in retrograde for all of this, it kind of seems exactly on par with what happens during this occurrence. I also took it as a sign from the universe that this job was not for me. I need to keep looking, keep the faith that something will come along that WILL be the blend of something I like with time and space for my creative endeavors. It won’t suck me dry of my energy and focus and make me feel like a lesser person.

Anyway, Mercury in retrograde is happening so tread with caution. This was a ridiculous morning and one I have honestly never experienced. Things go wrong but this was an epic things go wrong day. Hang in there. It’s over March 10th.