The Haircut Theory
Right before I get a haircut, I have a great hair day. The hair that has been driving me nuts for weeks, laying flat, feeling stringy, suddenly is rejuvenated and lush and perfect. It gives me pause and I start wondering if I should get the haircut I was picturing. Maybe I just want a trim and not a few inches. Maybe I don't want bangs because right now their length is flattering even though three days ago they were horrible enough I almost took scissors to themselves...again...which I know I should never do...again...for the tenth time.I've discovered a similar pattern with other life decisions, big and small. I've starting calling it the Haircut Theory. The Haircut Theory applies to a time when you think you've made up your mind because something isn't working. Could be a job, an apartment, your relationship, a diet, anything. Suddenly, right before you make the 'cut', it starts clicking. The job is remarkably amazing for the week you planned to quit. Your relationship starts to soar and make you happy again. That coat you hated and were about to donate magically fits like a glove and you get a ton of compliments on it. The city you live blooms again in your heart and everything is coming up roses.Do you still get the haircut?The answer always is yes. At least for me. I've always said yes and gotten the haircut and been happy about it. I've said yes because I know this is all just a glimmer. It's before a moment of change, be it massive or tiny, and it's scary. The universe loves to fuck with us and remind us what we have now is comfortable and cozy and we don't need bangs! We're doing great without bangs! Until the day after you don't get bangs and you look in the mirror and that sense of boredom and dullness comes back and you realize it was all a rouse to get you to be stagnant.Sure, you might regret the haircut or the move or throwing away the coat. It's very possible which is why the moments before seem so crucial. They send you into a spiral of doubt, delusion, and frustration. If everything is going so well, why would I change it? You might think you didn't see how good it was before until you say out loud that you want it to change. I think that all the time. I might decide to join a new gym but maybe I just hadn't been appreciating my current gym and trying hard enough to use it to its fullest and THAT is why I want a new one.I could be spoiled. I could be a total brat who wants to change things when I stop liking them. This is highly likely because I kind of am a brat sometimes and I hate change yet I do it constantly when I get frustrated with something. I toss it out and give up on it if I hit a wall. I never really know if it is that Gemini side of me or if it is an actual change I need to make to be happy. In the end, I get the haircut. I get it because something inside me said I needed it. It might just be my ends are splitting. Or it could be that I need a change to boost my own moral and see a different look in the mirror for a little while. Haircuts are great. They can make you feel lighter, more attractive, brand new. You get attention, compliments (hopefully), and something new to style if that's your thing. For me, the same reasons and result go into any change I make. I doubt it, I fear it, but if I just say yes to it and get it over with, I am usually happy with the choice I made to do it.I write this at a time where I've made a big life decision that I've gone back and forth about for a long time. When I finally put my foot down and said "I'm doing this", I had a week where everything was sunshine and rainbows. Everything I had been complaining about suddenly was the opposite. I had all the things I had been desiring and I doubted my decision to change it. I sat down and meditated on it for a while. I realized that even if everything was awesome right now, in this moment before I pulled the plug so to speak, I knew underneath it all was the pain and suffering I had been experiencing. I realized not even a few good days would change what I knew in my heart to be true. Just like a few good hair days before the chop doesn't mean you shouldn’t go through with it.Hair grows back.* There are very few things in life you can't reverse (donating a coat you may not get back but I suppose you could try and buy it again in theory) or change to something else (a new coat!). Be grateful for that and get the bangs. *Apologies to any one with hair troubles or without hair. I hope you can still read this and understand the sentiment behind it.